HOW TO EARN LEGITIMATE THOUSANDS OF NAIRA ON THE INTERNET

HOW TO EARN LEGITIMATE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS ON THE INTERNET
DISCOVER AMAZING SECRETS OF INTERNET MILLIONAIRES
PART-TIME JOBS THAT FETCHS OVER #100,000 PER MONTH
HOW TO BROWSE FOR 24HOURS WITH YOUR SIM CARD AND SYSTEM
STEP BY STEP GUIDE TO MILKING GOOGLE CASH .adsense for cash,blogging to millions etc
WAYS TO AVOID INTERNET SCAM e.g YAHOO-YAHOO ETC
MOTIVATING YOURSELF TO FINANCIAL FREEDOM.be a motivational speaker at conferences and seminars.
SELF EMPLOYMENT GUIDE TO ONLINE SUCCESS...so refreshingly hot and irressistible.
USING YOUR HOBBIES TO EARN ONLINE.be it writing,gisting,arguing,analysing,reading you make money.
AND SUPER MEGA BONUS-----USING PLR TO MAKE REAL COOL DOLLARS WITH ONLY 30 MINUTES WORK
MOTHER OF THEM ALL--------15 MAGICAL WAYS TO USE AUTORESPONDERS TO MAKE MONEY PER DAY
OTHERS CHARGE NOTHING LESS THAN #20,000 FOR SEMINARS ON THIS SAME TOPIC AM GIVING OUT FOR LESS THAN NOTHING,INFACT THE ACTUAL PRICE IS #5,000 BUT IN THE SPIRIT OF THE COMING NEW YEAR AND XMAS I DECIDED TO GIVE IT OUT AT #1,500 ONLY FOR BETWEEN NOW AND DEC15TH,2008. AFTER THIS, THE PRICE WILL BE BACK TO #5,000.
HOW TO GET YOUR COPY-----
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AFTER PAYMENT SEND YOUR FULL NAME,TELLER NUMBER,EMAIL ADDRESS,PHONE NUMBER AND AMOUNT PAID THROUGH SMS/TEXT TO 08027170004 AND 08056605819 (EMAIL saintmayor@gmail.com) CHECK YOUR INBOX AFTER 24 WORKING HOURS FOR THE PACKAGE AND AN UNANNOUNCED BONUS.
WHY THIS OPPURTUNITY SHOULD NOT PASS YOU BY: IT REQUIRES NO START UP CAPITAL,NO PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE,NO CERTIFICATE,ANY ONE CAN DO IT AND YOU STILL GET TO KEEP YOUR REGULAR JOB,NO STORY AND FREE ACCESS TO MY REGULAR EMAIL GUIDE UNTIL YOU MAKE IT BIG TIME.
PACKAGED BY SAINTMAYOR ONLINE VENTURES.........BELIEVE AND SUCCEED BY HIS GRACE.
08027170004/08056605819 saintmayor@gmail.com
Note:This manual is meant as an information product and the author bears no reponsibility for any act of abuse or distortion of the ideas therein.It may not be reprinted,photocopied or resold without the express permission of the author/copyright owners.


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15 creative ways to earn using autoresponders.http://mistermayowa.blogspot.com mayowa
An interested visitor who has been strolling through your site has finally come to just what she is looking for and is about to make a purchase. It’s a sunny afternoon, and her computer suddenly goes off.
In the blink of an eye, your visitor exits your site, and your sale is dust - unless you have had the foresight to utilize an autoresponder that has captured her email address. If you have installed an autoresponder, you can then follow-up with her, and in all probability, make the sale when the poor woman has finished putting her computer in order.
Autoresponders are remarkable, versatile programs that do so much more than just automatically answer your email. Here are a few ideas that will help you to creatively and productively use your autoresponder to transform the casual visitor into a profitable customer. Use your autoresponder to:http://tinyurl.com/2lkt2g

1. Publish a newsletter. Certain quality autoresponders will manage subscriptions and follow-up with interested prospects. Your newsletter can keep your visitors informed about your services or products, while building your reputation as a credible expert in your particular business.
2. Publish a newsletter only for your affiliates. Inform them of current sales you are running and of promotional material that your affiliates can use themselves to increase their commissions. Include tips, advice, and techniques that your affiliates can use to successfully go out and promote your business.
3. Write reviews. Cover books, software, music, e-books, movies, etc., and put each review in an autoresponder. Review your affiliate programs, using a link to your affiliate’s page in your autoresponder.
4. Distribute your articles. Writing and distributing targeted articles is a powerful tool to build your business credibility, bring traffic to your site, and increase your sales potential. If your articles contain valuable information, many editors will print what is known as a resource box for you. A resource box contains your bio and a brief description of your service or product. It can also contain your autoresponder address. Let’s say you’ve written fifty articles. Put them on separate autoresponder accounts and create a master list that contains the titles of each article, the autoresponder address, and a brief abstract. Then promote your master list. Additionally, include your publishing guidelines so your affiliates can add their articles to your list, increasing the number of writers who are represented in your article list.
5. Create mailing lists. Inform subscribers to your articles when you’ve written new ones that they may want to publish in their own newsletter or website.
6. Automate your sales process. Use an ad to insure repeated exposure of your message, which has been proven to effectively increase sales. In your ad, put your autoresponder address where a visitor will be exposed to numerous marketing materials. This multiplies the chances of converting visitors into customers. For example, if you’re selling a particular product, put testimonials about how spectacular it is on your autoresponder, and add a detailed, enticing description of your product.
7. Distribute advertising. Let’s say you sell advertising on your website or in your newsletter or e-zine. Set your autoresponder to send the information about rates and how to place an ad automatically to all prospects’ email addresses. Then have your autoresponder follow-up. It can also send notification of any special deals you are currently offering.
8. Distribute an email course. Each day, have your autoresponder send out another lesson. Just be sure that each lesson has quality content - not a sales pitch. Your content will do the selling for you, and will do it much more effectively. You can include tips centered on a different topic for each lesson, illustrating how your product will benefit the reader. Include the tangible benefits the visitor will reap by purchasing your product. Make sure to include a paragraph or two at the end of each lesson enticing your prospect to consider making a purchase.
9. Automate a reminder about your service or product after a visitor has completed your course. This will increase the possibility of sales from visitors who have taken your course but are dragging their feet about actually making a purchase. You can also use these reminders to promote new products or services, and the products and services of your affiliate programs.
10. Distribute free reports. This gives your visitor an idea of the type of information you can provide and the quality of your product or service. Make sure these reports are not sales letters or you will more than likely lose a potential customer than gain a sale.
11. Create trivia quizzes on your site and place the answers in an autoresponder. Your visitor will then be motivated to request your autoresponder, and you will have a record of the visitors’ email addresses who took your quiz. Or create a contest and have any visitors that enter send their responses to your autoresponder. Your autoresponder can be set-up to send them a confirmation of their entry.
12. Offer a trial version of your product. Give your prospects a sample of your ebook, course, software, membership, etc. People who are exposed to a little taste often end up wanting the whole pie. You can also capture their email addresses when you offer them a free trial from your website. Set up your autoresponder to give instructions on how to obtain their free trial, and then make sure to follow-up to try and close the sale.
13. Link to hidden pages on your autoresponder. For example, a hidden page could be your affiliate page that contains graphics, promotional articles, and text links that interested affiliates can make use of. Inform visitors that they may have free access to your affiliate page by simply requesting your autoresponder. You will then gather a list of visitors who may be interested in becoming your affiliates.
14. Use an autoresponder on your order page. Post a request form for visitors to be notified of special offers or discounts in the future. This creates a very effective mailing list that contains the names of people who are already your customers.http://tinyurl.com/2lkt2g

15. Put your links page on your autoresponder. It should ideas of your own! interest to your visitors. Make sure to add your own promotional copy at the top or bottom of this page.
Now that you have proof that autoresponders can be used creatively, see if you can come up with some brilliant messages containing up to fifty links that would be of particular interest to your prospects or customers.
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Affiliate marketing programs are a great way to get income for your website, and a great introduction to e-commerce. The more people that drop by your website, the great your chance will be at creating an excellent income.Affiliate marketing programs are where a company offers to pay you a set amount for either a click through from your website, or a set amount for visitors signing up, or even a percentage of a purchase made by visitors as a result of being referred from your website.Even if visitors don't make a purchase immediately, almost all programs offer cookie duration, normally consisting of 30 - 90 days. What this means, is that as long as the visitors have the cookie in their cache, you'll still recieve a profit from the sale. The biggest amount of time in maintaining your site will be searching and implementing affiliations with various companies. Even though there's a lot of money in affiliate marketing, you have to take the time to search for the best programs.One thing that you may not be happy with, is the idea of other companies banners littering your website. If you use too many banners or links on any web page, it can confuse and help to irritate your visitors. More than one animated element on a web page can be very distracting as well.Affiliate tracking can also be a problem. Once you have applied to become an affiliate for a company, they'll usually supply you with a personalized link or code. It's very important that you implement this code into your page correctly, or you may be sending visitors to the company without recieving any profit.A majority of snippets in the code will contain a unique user ID, which the company uses to distinguish which site sent traffic. Click Here For The Best Affiliate http://www.master.clickbank.com

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

try it

animals and me?

ANIMALS AND MAN; THE GENESIS OF FRIENDSHIP By Mayowa Alabi.
Are you planning on getting a new-born puppy or perhaps one that has aged just a bit? If you want a young puppy, wait until he is at least 8 weeks old. If you want a more mature pup, around 6 months is the best age. Bringing home a more mature puppy is easier than bringing home a baby puppy. The reason for this is that an older puppy will more likely have outgrown his baby ways such as excessive chewing and biting, and most importantly – should be potty trained!

When getting young puppy, you have to consider several factors. Puppies that are less than 8 weeks old will do a lot of nipping and biting. They do this to try to determine a hierarchy. Often times, they will bite at their mother. When this happens, she makes it clear, by growling and using her body language, that these behaviors are unacceptable. It is around 6 weeks old that puppies learn about respect the most effective way, from their mother. Taking them home at this age and trying to teach them how to behave is harder because we don't talk “dog language.”

In addition to chewing and biting, puppies that are under 6 weeks old have not yet developed their bladder and bowel control. They cannot “hold it in” like mature puppies can. What this means for us is that it is much harder to house-train a younger puppy and there is going to be a lot more cleaning up to do.

Older puppies, however, are much more calmer and understanding of the daily activities in the household. Although this is only true if they have been properly trained and socialized in their birth home. Puppies who are neglected will show signs of nervousness, unpredictability, and some aggressiveness. It is very important to carefully observe the puppy of choice before you make the purchase
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Creating your own information product is not enough to ensure monstrous profit from the World Wide Web. You have to learn how to market the same. The operative word in Internet Marketing, after all, is still “marketing.”

Here are some strategies that are sure to help you increase your earnings by boosting the sales rate of your information product…

1. Gaining affiliates. If you’re selling something in the World Wide Web without seeking the help of affiliates, then there’s something wrong with your marketing strategy. Worse, you’re losing thousands, if not millions of dollars, in revenue. Why? Because utilizing affiliates is the quickest and most efficient way of gaining a prominent presence in the World Wide Web. Affiliates will get your business message across a wide audience. And since they’ll be promoting your product via an affiliate link you’ll provide, leading to central sales page where you can convert visitors into sales, you’d be able to generate a massive amount of traffic. And as you very well know, in online business, your success is always, always, always dependent on the amount of traffic you’ll be able to garner for your website. There are two ways by which you can employ affiliate marketing. First is by establishing your own affiliate program. You may require specific software programs and scripts, as well as appropriate web hosting features, for this approach. Second is by joining affiliate networks like www.clickbank.com , www.paydotcom.com , and www.cj.com . This approach is simpler, and it’s ideal for novices in this industry.

2. Joint ventures. You’d also benefit a lot by partnering with established marketers. There are many models for this business setup. Let’s take a look at some of them:

- You can pool together some products to create more attractive packages.

- You can promote the campaign in your respective mailing lists for greater exposure.

- You can merge your affiliate forces together for a more efficient campaign.

What’s in it for your JV partner? Aside from the profit-sharing scheme you may agree on beforehand, you can also cross-promote each other’s products or invite each other’s subscriber to your respective mailing lists. Joint ventures are beneficial for all parties and internet marketers are always amenable to proposals of this nature.

3. Pay Per Click Advertising. This is a rather tricky maneuver because you will have to pay a certain amount to have your sales page’s URL advertised. The trick is in knowing how much you should be spending. And the rule is: spend only what you can afford to lose. With PPC advertising in programs like Google AdWords, your sales page will appear prominently for every relevant query in Google. Promoting an eBook about dog grooming? A link to your sales page will appear every time a user searches for the term “dog grooming.” However, you will have to pay the program every time a user clicks on your ad. How can this be profitable, you might ask? It all depends on the conversion rate your sales page is capable of. If your sales page can convert 10% of your visitors into successful sales, and you’re selling your information product for $50, you can afford to spend $50 per week at $0.10 per click. This will give you 500 visitors, and if your sales page can convert 10% of them, you’d have 50 paying customers, and $2,500 in gross profit. It all boils down to testing. You have to test your sales page to the ground so that you’d know how well it can really perform. And you have to do this before availing of PPC advertising.

These 3 tactics are sure to catapult your sales rate to untold heights of profitability. Study them well, and consider employing them once you have created your information product. They can very well be the factors that will transform your product into a certified blockbuster.

what does it take to be a leader? in animal care. part 2

HOW TO BE A SUCCESS IN LIFE EVERY DAY.
wake up each day knowing your page is blank,imagine your story unfolding before your very eyes.see it in vivid detail,you will be surprise,amazed---your storycan be written as you conciously intend it.
take time to write your story,just as you want it to be be,the moments you take to determine your story are worth the effort.what you write is what you live.( written by mayowa olufemi alabi check me out on www.leader-mayor.blogspot.com and www.saintmayor.blogspot.com)

find a niche now

WHY YOU MUST FIND A NICHE FOR YOUR BLOG?

Finding your blogging niche should be one of the aspects of blogging which the blogger carefully considers before starting a blog. This is especially important if the blogging is being done for the purpose of financial compensation. Ideally a blog owner should select a blog subject about which they are passionate and knowledgeable. However, bloggers should also carefully consider the direct competition as well as the purpose of the blog before starting their blog. This article will discuss these considerations in greater detail in an attempt to assists bloggers in choosing a subject for a new blog. This information is applicable to both bloggers who are completely new to blogging as well as experienced bloggers who are considering starting a new blog.
Isolating Your Interests
One of the first considerations for a new blogger is his personal interests. This is important because a blogger who is passionate and knowledgeable about a particular subject will not only have an easy time coming up with ideas for new blog posts but will also likely be highly successful. This success will likely be attributable to the fact that blog visitors can sense his passion for the subject matter and greatly appreciate the knowledgeable posts which are informative and accurate.
The interests of the blogger may run the gamut from subjects which are widely popular to subjects which are of interest to only a small subset of the population. However, there will likely be interested readers regardless of the subject of the blog. Therefore bloggers are not discouraged from opting to blog about even the most obscure subjects. However, bloggers who are seeking financial gain through high blog traffic should consider selecting a topic which appeals to a larger audience.
Evaluating the Competition
Once a blogger has selected one or more subjects he is considering for a blog, it is time to begin evaluating the competition. This includes viewing other blogs covering the same subject matter. This will not only give the blogger a good indication of whether or not the market is already saturated with blogs on this subject and the quality of the existing blogs on this subject. Based on this information the blogger can make an informed decision about whether or not he feels capable of competing for blog traffic with the existing blogs.
Considering the Purpose of the Blog
Another important consideration for bloggers is the purpose of the blogs. Blogs can be created for a variety of reasons including financial compensation, personal use or to promote a cause. Bloggers who are starting a blog for personal use may only wish to consider their own interests when starting a blog because they are not likely seeking high blog traffic. However, bloggers who are creating a blog for purposes of generating a profit or promoting a cause do have to consider factors such as the ability to generate blog traffic. In these cases the blogger should choose a subject which appeals to a large audience. Additionally, the Internet should not already be saturated with blogs on this subject because it will likely be difficult for the new blog to garner a share of blog traffic. Finally, blog owners should consider the quality of the blog they are capable of creating on a particular subject. The blogger should choose a subject where he is confident he can not only make regular posts but also ensure these posts are original, informative and interesting.
contributor:- mayowa olufemi alabi (rated among the best cyber motivators)
visit www.saintmayor.blogspot.com and www.mistermayowa.blogspot.com for more on free money making ideas. (this article can be use without the express permission of the author.)

be inspired

WHY WE ARE WHAT WE ARE........I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
have you been let down by suppose people you trust before? well, we all have face one situation that has not been pleasant before. we tend to blame others for our own failures, denying us the oppurtunity to learn and appreciate the basic dynamics of human relationship. if you close your eye to prevent you seeing bad images then be prepare to miss good and beautiful images of nature pass you bye. i am of the opinion that because somethings have not work before now it wont work forever. you might feel discourage and disillusioned concerning a subject matter..but remember quitters dont win a race and losers never get a trophy. you must persist and remain hopeful....believing in what is ahead, visualize your end from the beginning. infact the harder the battle the sweeter the victory song. no wonder am an apostle of believing and succeeding. yours is to remain positive and see you goals coming to pass.the road may be rough and tough but believe me you willget there.you best friends may be your enemyies and your loved ones may be your biggest critics.....its is possible but dont forget nothing good comes easy.discipline yourself at all times work on your strenghts,accept your limitations and ignore your weakness,sooner than later you will make it in grand style. to your success my dear friends...keep believing and succeeding.
for more motivational and inspirational articles visit www.proffessor-mayowa.blogspot.com and www.leader-mayor.blogspot.com ( this article can be reprinted and use without the express permission of the author)

what do you make of this?

Gift giving is at its absolute finest during the Christmas season. Putting smiles on children's faces, making an elderly person feel appreciated, rewarding a hardworking employee - the reasons for gift giving at Christmas are endless. Christmas is the most popular time for gift giving, and it is no secret that Christmas is also the favorite time for marriage proposals.

However, getting ready for Christmas can be a nightmare when you tally up all the planning and shopping that must be condensed into the 3 or 4 short weeks leading up to the holiday break. Selecting menus, writing out gift lists, decorating the tree, hanging the outside lights, and so on…

Getting things done around the house always seems to fall into place but buying the gifts always plays havoc with your schedule. Staying within your budget usually places even more restrictions on your time, finding gifts that impress and yet don't cost an arm and a leg.

You want to give something but the occasion says it shouldn't be too much. Or the whole family is getting together for Christmas and that means 45 presents. You want to give something to every one in your class. Or your budget will soon reach the red ink stage.

We have a few items that cost less than $5 but each gift can still have
special meaning.




A swimmer can always use a new set of ear plugs.



Someone who works nights will love a new night shades for sleeping.



Your grandma travels. Get her small travel bottles of lotion, hairspray and deodorant.



Every one can use a new lint remover mitt.



A luxury item is sachet bags to hand in closets or place in drawers.



A coffee mug with their name or a picture that represents something about the recipient.



Most women will appreciate a bottle of bubble bath.



Any woman will love mini tote bags to hold and organize items in their purse.



A coin purse will be easier to find in a purse and fit easily in a man's pocket.



Everyone goes shopping. Get them shopping pads to hang on the refrigerator door.



Get padded velvet or satin coat hangers. They come in pretty colors.



Find a key chain that represents the recipient's hobby.



Jigsaw puzzles will help fill the hours for your stay at home grandmother.




Wind chimes will add a cheerful note on almost any day.



Everyone has items they keep. Give them decorative boxes to organize them.




Decorative baskets hold and organize things throughout the house.



Get a special perfumed bar of soap.



Anyone who travels will love a fold up travel toothbrush.



Bath oils will soothe her skin.



Coffee lovers will appreciate small bags of flavored coffee.
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For even more gift ideas under $5, check out this page:
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me,you and them.....

Thoughts create experience. If you've read anything about how to use the Powers of the Mind, you've come across this idea. You've probably read that if you want your life to change, you have to think positive thoughts and hold your focus on what you want. This is the basic concept behind all New Thought philosophy, and one of the central themes of the Keys To Power as well.

When I first learned about this principle, it sounded really good to me. After all, I had been looking for the secrets behind the miracles of the (Christian) Bible. It also made a lot of sense. It was my understanding that God created mankind with the ability to dominate the Earth (physical reality), and if this was the case, then where else would this Power be than in the mind? After all, we have all heard the quotes about faith. "If you had the faith as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, be removed and be cast into the sea, and it will be done as you believe." There are a lot of quotes like that.

But it seemed as though no matter how much I thought about what I wanted, no matter how much I 'believed' that I would get it, or how intensely I focused my mind, it wouldn't work for me. Has that happened with your efforts? I know a lot of people who have had the exact same experience. They either get nothing for their efforts, or they get the exact opposite of what they were working for.

Now that I've learned the secret Keys to Power, I can tell you why this happens. Imagine that Power flows like water. This is the Power that God gives you to create your world the way you want it. Now imagine that Power flowing into you, through your mind, and then out into your world. As Power is flowing through your mind, it is picking up your thoughts and feelings, your beliefs and your expectations, and a few other things. This is why your thoughts create your experiences. Because Power is picking up your thoughts and feelings as it flows from God into your world.

The reason we don't see this is because it doesn't happen instantly. What happens is that all the thoughts and feelings that we send out into the world have to wait until an opportunity to manifest comes up. So, at any particular point in time, you may have a few thousand thought-forms (the traditional term for thoughts which have been combined with Power) out there waiting to manifest! And those thought-forms could manifest at any time, depending on the situation you find yourself in.

Let's think about this for a moment. How many thoughts have you had in the last week? How many of them were positive, happy, and full of hope for the future? How many of them were negative, frustrated, angry, upset, or fearful? If you're like most people, you had a mix of positive and negative thoughts and feelings. And since thoughts direct Power to create our experiences, they will create a mix of positive and negative events in your life, won't they?

Okay, so let's consider something else. You have a mix of different thought-forms out there waiting to manifest. You spend a few hours today thinking only positive thoughts and creating new positive thought-forms. Which thought-forms are going to manifest tomorrow? It could be any that are still out there, positive ones or negative ones, right? Of course! And this is why it's possible to think positive thoughts for a long time and still have negative things happen! Because the negative events are simply the manifestation of thought-forms you sent out into the world previously.

So how can we use this information? Since we know that all thoughts we send out into the world will eventually create experiences, and the timing of the manifestation of those thoughts is beyond our control, then all we can do is send out the kinds of thoughts we want to experience and accept whatever happens in the meantime. If we persist long enough, thinking and feeling only positive things (things we want to experience), then eventually there will be no more negative thoughts left to manifest. At that point, we will be living a life where nothing could ever go wrong!

But what do we do before that time? If something goes wrong, or we experience the manifestation of one of our negative thought-forms, then we can realize that we are one step closer to our goal. There is one less negative thought-form out there to experience. Look at it this way, if God told you that you would have to kiss a hundred ugly toads, but the last one would make all your dreams come true, would you start kissing toads? And how would you feel as you were doing it? You would probably be thinking about all the glorious things that last toad will do for you!

Keep thinking positive, and get through the toads as quickly as possible!

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SOMETHING TO LAUGH ABOUT

Welcome to Free-Jokes.org, the premier jokes site on the net. Voted #1 jokes site on the net! Browse our jokes database, and feel free to submit your own jokes!.
Joke of the Week
Tail Light on Bike
(People Jokes)On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light. Next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop said to the kid, "Nice bike you've got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid said, "Yeah." The cop said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike." The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid took the ticket, but before he rode off he said, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop said, "Yeah, he sure did." The kid said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."
Redneck On Vacation
(Redneck Jokes)You might be a redneck if you have ever vacationed in a highway rest area.
Jesus
(YoMama Jokes)Your mama is so old, she's got a bible autographed by Jesus!
Work Days
(Work Jokes)Employee: Boss can I have the day off tomorrow? Boss: So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for: There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be damned if you are going to take that day off!
Blondes and coffee breaks
(Blonde Jokes)Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Barbie Turns 40
(Misc Jokes)
Yes, it's hard to believe,but in 1999 Barbie will turn 40, just in time to greet the new century. And they've been40 full, rich years. She began as a glamorous airline stewardess when she was introducedat Toy Fair in 1959.She soared into space as an astronaut in 1974, ran for president in1992, and, in 1997, she bore disability bravely, folding her first-ever bending legs intoa wheelchair to become a role model once again for a newly identified market.
In every incarnation,nationality, and skin tone, she's perfectly turned out,with accessories galore at her longslender fingertips. She's Everywoman, she's the Cosmo Girl, she has it all. So, what willMattel think of next as the company meets the challenge of Barbie turning 40?
Why fight age? Why notcapitalize on it in every way possible? Here are some ideas Mattel might consider for apast 40 Barbie:
Bifocals Barbie:
Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
Hot Flash Barbie:
Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead! With hand-held fan and tiny tissues.
Facial Hair Barbie:
As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow! Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.
Cook's Arms Barbie:
Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too: muumuus are back! Cellulite cream and loofah sponge optional.
Bunion Barbie:
Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with this pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules. Colors: pink, rose, blush.
No More Wrinkles Barbie:
Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.
Soccer Mom Barbie:
All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken Jr. With minivan in robin's egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.
Midlife Crisis Barbie:
Ken has a young Swedish girlfriend, so it's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Bruce (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Comes with real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."
Single Mother Barbie:
There's not much time for primping anymore! Ken's shacked up with the Swedish au pair in the Dream House and Barbie's across town with Babs and Ken Jr. in a fourth-floor walk-up. Barbie's selling off her old gowns and accessories to raise rent money. Complete garage sale kit included.
Recovery Barbie:
Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does 12 steps instead of dance steps! Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with little copy of The Big Book and six-pack of Diet Coke.
Who knows when Barbie willhave outlived her usefulness? From Dream House to Nursing Home, the possibilities andaccessories are endless.

what do we really want in life?

Some people are "dog people," others are "cat people." I'm a cat person. Regardless of which pet you prefer, we can all agree that pets enrich our lives in many ways. They provide unconditional affection, they don't care what we look like, and sometimes even they teach us a life lesson.But I never expected my cat to teach me a marketing lesson! A niche marketing lesson, to be more precise.It is extremely important for those who want to create (and eventually launch) a website to have good keyword research. For internet users to be able to reach your website, you should use proper keywords and phrases so that it’ll be a lot easier for internet surfers to stumble upon your website while using the search engine on the internet. Your website should be brimming with appropriate keywords and phrases, to help promote its content.
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What My Cat Taught Me About Niche Marketing

Some people are "dog people," others are "cat people." I'm a cat person. Regardless of which pet you prefer, we can all agree that pets enrich our lives in many ways. They provide unconditional affection, they don't care what we look like, and sometimes even they teach us a life lesson.But I never expected my cat to teach me a marketing lesson! A niche marketing lesson, to be more precise.At this point, the dog lovers reading this are saying that this cat person is crazy. But I'm not. Here's how it happened.Like millions of other pet lovers, I bought plenty of pet toys. We all want to be able to interact with our pets, yet still have them not be bored when we're away.My cat went through the usual toy assortment: feathers, balls with bells in them, foam balls, catnip, string, and an assortment of stuffed rodents. Because we all want the best for our furry friends, I bought the biggest stuffed rat I could find. It received an occasional sniff but was mostly ignored. The medium-sized stuffed mice received more attention, but only if I moved the mouse or threw it for the cat. He wouldn't play with it on his own.Then my cat was given a pair of tiny stuffed mice. I thought they were too small and would be ignored just as the giant rat was.Boy was I wrong!Like a lion on a gazelle, my cat pounced on the tiny mouse and gave it a beating it would never forget. He played mouse hockey through the house, scoring goals under the refrigerator and under the stove. He played baseball, tossing the mouse high into the air and catching it again, or hitting a home run on the way down. He played jungle lion, proudly carrying his prey back to his waiting pride (me!).So what does all this warm fuzzy cat stuff have to do with online sales?It's a metaphor for niche marketing. The cat is the consumer. The cat toys are your products. The ultimate goal is to match the former with the latter.Your first product, the giant rat, was of vague interest to the consumer (the cat). The consumer sniffed at your ad or sales page, but did not like what he smelled, and moved on. No sales.Your second product, the medium-sized mice, were more interesting to the potential buyer. He would take action, but only after intensive prompting on your part. You would probably have to spend a lot on pay per click ads or gave away lots of bonuses to get his business. A few sales might be made, but it would be expensive to get those sales.But your third product, the mini-mouse, was pure magic! Your cat consumer took one look, something in his brain clicked, and a sale was made. It was as if your product was a key that unlocked the part of the customer's brain that triggered the buying impulse. Jackpot!That's what my cat taught me about niche marketing. You must find a product that somebody desperately wants (preferably a large group of somebodies). That product must be exactly what they were looking for, even if they didn't know they wanted it! It must be so tantalizing that your customer is more concerned about playing with his new toy than he or she is about paying for it.You see, I made a classic info-product mistake with my cat. I gave him what I thought he would like. I wasted money promoting large stuffed rodents and heaps of other toys to him. What I didn't do is ask him what he needed and give him that!Don't make the same mistake! Figure out what your customers want FIRST, and give them that. Then watch them pounce on it so fast that the payment process is almost an afterthought for them.I have since learned that the mini-mice are about the same size as real mice. No wonder the cat was sold on them immediately! He had never seen a real mouse, but there was a mini-mouse sized niche in his brain that was instantly gratified by the smallest mouse toy.Don't give your customers what you think they need. Ask them what they want, and give them that. Then you will have truly created a better mousetrap, and they will beat a path to your door (and your bank account)!Learn more about niche marketing through the link below.
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